European Championship of Drink

The European Football Championship 2020 has been postponed till next year.

But don’t worry, we’ve decided to host the tournament ourselves – using drink instead of balls and tactics n’that.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll be pitching the best drinks from each participating country.

There’ll be loads of quality continental drinks to learn about, there’ll be lazy national stereotypes, some knob gags and maybe some feeble wordplay if you’re lucky.

Please join us in our selfless, unwavering quest to discover Europe’s greatest drinking nation.

But before the first games on Friday, here’s an “Opening Ceremony” in the shape of a poem we actually wrote

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